Pride Month
It’s not my month.
It’s not about me.
It’s about the millions of people who risk their lives and livelihoods every day just to be themselves - and to love the people they love.
However, I read a quote the other day that said:
“If you call yourself an ally to a group of people and you aren’t getting hit by the stones being thrown at them, then you aren’t standing close enough.”
- and I felt compelled to say something.
I don’t understand the hate that people feel so deep in their hearts against the LGBT+ community.
I don’t understand hating someone for simply existing.
Personally, I don’t hate many things, and I hate even fewer people - but the majority of things and people that I do hate - are things designed to, and people who go out of their way to hurt.
In my multiple, multiple experiences with gay, lesbian, trans, non-binary, and other LGBT+ individuals, this was never the case.
I remember going to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie with another couple when it came out in 2017.
At the end of the movie, there is a scene that shows two grown men dancing together.
The scene lasts for less than one second. One second from a movie that ran for two hours and nineteen minutes.
As we walked out, the husband from the other couple was venting about that scene - and how “They’re forcing it down our throats, aren’t they?”
And that’s the problem.
The movie was a two hour romance about a woman who falls in love with an… animal? Man? Beast?
Whatever, not a problem. They weren’t forcing bestiality down our throats.
The end scene initially featured like twenty pairs of same sex couples dancing together.
Whatever, not a problem. They weren’t forcing ballroom dancing down our throats.
But… that one second - out of 8,340 total seconds - where two men danced together….
Yuck. Right? Too much.
But it’s not just that movie. It’s all over the place. Hatred towards non-straight individuals has become so weaponized that any mention of LGBT+ people simply existing is enough to bring some to a bigoted fervor.
Is it discomfort? Is it religion? Is it self-hate?
I don’t know. Truthfully, there’s probably not one answer for that question.
What I do know though, is that it’s a problem.
I grew up in a Methodist church, and somehow made it almost all the way to adulthood without realizing that not every church had gay people in the congregation. That not every church taught sermons on being good and doing good instead of sermons on who was supposed to be considered bad.
I’m thankful for the church I grew up in - but so sad that so many other people didn’t get to experience the same thing.
As an adult, I’ve often compared being a Christian to going to a concert for a band you love.
You’re there because you like the artists and know the songs - but as you look around at the other concert-goers fighting, talking, getting drunk and loudly shout-singing the songs you’re used to singing along to alone in your car - it’s like “Wait… these are supposed to be MY people??”
I don’t know. I don’t go to a lot of concerts.
Maybe I’ve just been to the wrong concerts.
But… You get my meaning.
Why has religion gotten so exclusionary?
A couple of years ago, a dear friend of mine got a letter from his hometown church saying that they knew that he was gay - and that until he renounced this sinful lifestyle, it would be best if he didn’t come back.
And I mean, wow.
I’ve read The Bible. It has a TON of rules.
Still, I’ve never been asked to stay home because I have tattoos - or because I’ve been divorced.
I’m welcome in pretty much ANY church.
But my friend who is an adult man monogamously attracted to other adult men - better keep that stuff O U T out.
…
I’m getting sidetracked, rambling because I have a lot to say - but no roadmap as to how I want to say it.
As an ally typing a blog post during Pride Month, what I most want to convey is a plea for those of you who feel any sort of hate in your heart towards the LGBT+ community to consider this:
When did you choose what sort of people you love?
When did you choose to be ok with who you are or what your body looks like?
When was the last time someone told you that you were evil because you were trying to live a life that was fulfilling to you?
I truly hope that you can’t answer those questions.
More than that, I truly hope that you can take a second to explore the empathy it takes to see these people for who they truly are.
Not who the media tells you they are.
Not who your pastor tells you that they are.
…But who you’ve seen and experienced firsthand.
I’ve spent a LOT of time with friends from the LGBT+ community, and they’ve been kind, compassionate, hilarious, endearing, loving, and inspiring.
If you are lucky enough to live a life that makes you happy without others judging you - I’m happy for you.
Truly.
If this month doesn’t make sense to you, please just know that it does to others - and that there are folks out there who aren’t lucky enough to live a life that makes them happy without others judging them.
… to live a life that makes them happy without worrying about being hurt, attacked, or killed.
…to live a life that makes them happy without being disowned or shunned.
I, for one, am proud to be an ally.
And while I’m not a fan of getting hit with stones - if loving good people and showing what I believe to be God’s love to them ends up putting a target on my back… I guess I’m in the right place.
Happy Pride Month.
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